I’ve yet to understand this unsightly idea of pulling one’s pants down below the ass. Don’t even get me started on that one. But it’s all okay now because finally I’m convinced that it’s really not a good idea. I was walking down the street when I heard a couple of kids coming up behind me. They were carrying on back and forth cursing like there was no tomorrow and calling each other dude. This was all happening over a range of octaves as they tested out their occasional somewhat more manly voices in between bouts of uncontrolled high pitched interjections. Cool dudes? Maybe. I tried to figure out the topic of conversation but there seemed to be no content, just “dude” every second or third word with lots of cursing in between. Then they passed me, both on short bicycles. They were kindof strolling along, not very fast, busy I suppose with their dialogue about nothing specific.
They got about ten feet in front of me when one of them gets up on his peddles and off his bike seat. And that was the moment of truth right there. He was wearing dark grey underwear and had his pants right down under his ass. Not halfway, but completely. Now, either he had shit his pants or he was having a serious sweating issue going on all around the crack of his ass. There was a huge wet stain there. I suspect it was sweat, maybe from his bicycle seat. Whatever it was, it blew the whole cool dude image out of the water as he took off up ahead of his friend. Then his friend props himself up on his peddles to catch up and wouldn’t you know it, he was suffering from the same damp issue!
So all that coolness going on there and so much attention to it, only to be ruined by an issue that really didn’t have to be so obvious if only they understood one of the very good reasons for putting something on on top of the underwear. It really doesn’t matter how many swear words you can string together or how many times you spit out the word dude, your cover’s blown when it looks like you’ve shit yourself. You might want to pull your pants up, dudes!! Just saying…